I knew this guy once. Sensitive thing he was. Some people can’t take life head on. He cried-a lot. One of these times was about his children, one boy one girl. He was especially emotion regarding his baby girl, and that seems natural. He and the mother weren’t together and as she was a typical bitter baby momma as any when a man moves on. She talked terribly about him to them. He was so scared that they would think he didn’t want or love them.
Having grown up with my father out of the house, I decided to share some essential fundamentals to help him cope and be productive in his relationship with his children, and himself since it was eating him alive. Any men out there sharing this struggle, feel free to apply this to your life. It will help.
It’s best to simply stay active in their lives. As they grow they will form their own ideas and opinions. They will only care if you were there or not. If you let her scare you off that will on support her allegations. What they will see is that you were absent which must mean that you didn’t care much for them as she said. They weren’t a priority. Fight for your relationship with your children. Be there. Spend time with them. Love them. Create memories. As adults, they will have relationships and children. They will at this time understand the manipulation, pains, lies, bitterness that separation breeds. Don’t be offended when your children have a hard time coping with your absense or prefer the mother that they see daily. She is their constant and they trust her. They are young and innocent. They don’t understand. Just love them. Time will fix everything. Just do your part.
Now this daughter thing was something that I could truly relate to. My father died when I was 16. I didnt have him for prom, high school or college graduations, for my first pregnancy, my wedding…anything major for a woman.
Your daughter will need you just as much, if not more, as a woman than as a girl. She is still young and naive and protected as a girl. When she becomes a woman and vulnerable in her experiences with live and life, she will need her father. A mother is invaluable but a father is just as equally irreplaceable. She will never stop needing you.
People tend to think that children only need parents while they are young. WRONG! We are always growing, developing in some way-lost at certain points and times in life. Our parents, above anyone else in most of our situations, have our trust more than any other person we know. They love us the most and we expect them to lead us in wisdom and love, having no ulterior motive and wanting nothing less than our safety, happiness, and success.