Happy Father’s Day my loves!
In celebration of the men who help us conceive, love, and raise our children, I would acknowledge and celebrate a few types in particular.
First, on Father’s Day let us celebrate…
We love you dad! Thank you for your good looks and our heritage. Thank you for not making us have to search hard or far for an understanding of who we are. We appreciate all of the games of catch, fishing, kite flying, self defense lessons, daddy-daughter dances, video games, tea times, ‘dont let mom find out’ fun, and ‘just between us’ moments. Thank you for the sacrifices you endured for us.
Who is, no less than a biological. You are the real focus of this article. You entered our lives and donned a role that you had no obligation to adopt. Thank you for loving us as your own. For guiding us through life and protecting us as much as you could from empty spaces and the feelings of self-hate, inadequacies and insecurities that a father’s absence can birth. Thank you for helping my mother bridge the gap and loving her enough to love us. You showed us the depths of manhood with your selfless and compassionate actions.
Especially if you have no children of your own! You could easily be out there as a single man, saving your money or living a very different life, free of any cares other than your own. Thank you for not allowing us to be fatherless. Today, we salute and honor you, Stepfather.
Last, but not least…
The M.I.A. Father.
Sir, where are you? Mentally, emotionally, and physically, where are you? This is no judgment; it is a call for your return. There is a baby, child, or adult out there with traces of you inside of them. At some point they needed, or even still, may need you. Reach out.
My father wasn’t absent but he also wasn’t in the home. I believe he chose to love me from a distance because he feared his constant presence would be detrimental. He was insecure in parenting. The thing is- there is no rule book for parenting. It is simply an ebb and flow. We agree, we disagree. We obey, we disobey. We make you proud and we make you cry. You sir, you just have to be there. Catch us, guide us, discipline us, acknowledge us and our triumphs, protect us, provide for us, and teach us, be-with-us.
It’s not too late. Show up. Sure, there is the chance that your presence may be unwanted, and sure, that may be scary and embarrassing. But try. We, your children, may be hurt and/or angry. The stepfather may be preferred or the mother may be unwilling, but this is your life too. So, try. Your role is larger in this story than you know.